I decided to write this post after reading the following quote on TheGlow online:
“I loved everything about being pregnant—I was born to be a mom. The best part is that it’s the most whole, complete feeling of love, and it’s the easiest thing to sacrifice for. You know, anything can happen in the world, but if I can just be with my kids, I’m absolutely in pure joy.”
As a child, I loved playing with dolls and my little brother so much that this phrase would have perfectly summarized my idea of motherhood. I was born to be a mother – that much was obvious. What could be better?
But the words of Tracy Anderson (for those who may not know, Tracy is the personal trainer who helped make Gwyneth Paltrow’s post-baby body what it is today) gave me pause. Last Wednesday, a mum of three confessed to me that she hated being pregnant – definitively and unequivocally. And she repeated the experience three times… But her confessions were shared ashamedly, as so many other “mums to be” seem to experience a magical metamorphosis during pregnancy.
Can you be a good mother and still despise the nine months before delivery?
The answer, of course, is yes. But can we even say that? Can we admit that we don’t love being pregnant, without risking coming across as completely selfish? Some women may say no in an attempt to guilt-trip you, claiming all of these negative feelings will somehow pass through the umbilical cord, like an electric current, and stress out your unborn child…
But the truth is, pregnancy comes with a feeling of love so pure and so whole that it fills you up like a balloon. “It’s just hard to express [this feeling] when frustration, tiredness, an unrecognizable reflection and mood swings are involved.”
And me – do I want to be pregnant? Today, I definitely understand the plight of pregnant women who can’t enjoy a drink with a cigarette in hand… But I also dream of the day when I’ll have the best excuse in the world to decline a dinner invitation and, instead, watch three seasons of True Detective with a TV dinner on my big belly. I dream of the day when I can start counting down to the big day.
I just hope that when this moment comes, no one will ask me why I don’t love the stretch marks, hemorrhoids and 15 extra kilos that inevitably accompany these nine exciting months.
M.D.
Translated by G.W.
